Sunny Day

It has been another unseasonably gorgeous weekend. It’s funny that this kind of weather can create a sort of anxiety in some people, including myself, to some extent. 

Today was my friend’s birthday. She was feeling under the weather and had her first day off in quite awhile. People were asking her how she was going to spend it. Her birthday, on a day like this, she was sure to have big plans, no? No. All she wanted was a quiet day at home. She wanted to rest. Maybe just go out for a cup of tea and a bite to eat in her neighborhood or maybe an impromptu yoga class, but mostly stay at home. But she felt guilty. She felt pressured. People were insistent she have plans. Go out and play. Do something glorious to celebrate the day. But what she wanted to do, what she felt like doing, was passing the time on her couch.

I felt a bit like this, yesterday. It wasn’t my birthday, but every moment I was indoors, I felt this kind of anxiety to be outside doing…something. Something big, something important. If I only had a bike. If I only had friends who were in my neighborhood and free to meet up. f I only had a partner. If I only could find my kneepads/helmet/other accessory…. Sadly, all I had planned was yoga in the morning and dinner with a friend at night. Not sadly for me because that’s all I really wanted to do, but sadly because I didn’t have a good story to tell people when they asked me how I spent the day. I took my dog for a couple of longer walks, but that was more for her benefit than mine. I was a little tired, to be honest. But how could I be tired on a day like this? Even as I briefly sat on my couch to check email, I could see people bustling outside. “I should be outside.” 

“Should” is a word I don’t believe in.

Here’s what I told my friend. “This is a wonderful day to nap in the sun, like my dog is doing right now. Do what you want. It’s your day. Just enjoy it.”

Today, I took my own advice.