Time Well Spent

So the idea of balance continues to come up. Today one of my friends commented that she felt like she’s wasted several years of her life because she’s not in a relationship. I pointed out that in those past several years she’s completely changed careers. She quit her job in advertising to get trained as a yoga instructor. She has built up her credentials and is not only teaching kids yoga but is goes around the country training other instructors how to teach specialized yoga classes. She also suffered a major and complicated illness which took a long time to properly diagnose and which she eventually had to have surgery for. Her life hasn’t been idle. 

But, I know what she means.

We only have so much time in our lives. I, for one, tend to get excessive in some areas of my life and leave other areas neglected altogether until the scream for attention. I’ll lose myself in work completely until I am having dreams of about my coworkers turning into vampires. I’ll sign up for multiple online dating sites and have to keep a spreadsheet to get names and details right. Or I’ll huddle down in my Bat Cave until friends start calling me Snuffleupagas. It’s a problem.

Right now I’m filling my calendar with too much. I’m going to fitness classes, taking Tamil 

lessons and going out with friends. All of these are great. Except, I have no “free” time.  For example, today a guy I met a couple of weeks ago discussed getting together, last week. But I literally didn’t have a single free night until maybe the second week in October, if something falls through. You could get some doctor’s appointments easier than a date with me. 

Here’s the problem. I am not leaving room for new opportunities to enter my life. It takes more energy for me to meet new people than hanging out with those I care for. I haven’t been giving to myself and spending enough time restoring my energy to do this. Nor have I truly been connecting with people when I spend time with them because I have little to give.  And then I wonder why I’ve been feeling so lonely.

So, maybe the whole feng shui/if-you-build-it-they-will-come approach is needed. Leaving gaps in my schedule for new opportunities. Or some much needed quality Me Time.