Thursday, September 6, 2012

Mind, Body and Food


Nutrition has always been one of my passion. I have a degree in Dietetics and though what I do for a living does not involve it, I’ve continued to study it over the years. Trends come and go but my outlook has always been a holistic one – if we listen to our bodies, they will guide us. Though I always believed this, even when it wasn’t popular to do so, I had to learn and re-learn it for myself.
My mom and various female relatives were always on diets while I was growing up. I had been a skinny kid, but when I hit puberty, I started to gain a little weight. Like a rite of passage, I started dieting. I lost weight. Suddenly, this was something I could control. It became an obsession and I spent many years with my own food and body image wars. I counseled moderation to all because I knew this was right, but I was never a moderate person, myself. I had trauma and pain inside and had no way to express it but with food. It became a solace, an enemy and a symbol. It also became a tunnel I had to go through to come into a new understanding of who I was and what I believed in. In some ways, it continues to be but I do have a new sense of peace and of coming home. 

I have a new reverence and respect for this body of mine. I’ve discovered that I’m not the exception to the rule. It too is wise. My throat constricts, my shoulders rise, my jaw clenches even before I know I’m anxious. When there is a hollowing in my chest and an ache behind my eyes I realize something must have made me sad. My stomach is the loudest to speak. I’ve fought battles with it over the years, but truth be told, it is perhaps the wisest of all. 

So, I’ve learned to listen very carefully to what my body is telling me. Especially, when it comes to hunger. My mouth may want brownies, but this usually is a passing fancy. True craving comes from deeper in my torso and more often than not is for something nutrient dense. I try my best to honor it with what it needs to run effectively and not to stress it too much with food it cannot handle. And I continue to refine my understanding with as much gentleness as I can. I gave up diet coke and artificial sweetener last year. I never thought I would, but I knew I didn’t need it and the timing was right. And while I keep a mind to what my body needs, I’m compassionate enough to recognize that sometimes a bite (or two) of chocolate is just the thing. So I savor that bite for all it’s worth. If I’m going to indulge, I’m going to enjoy every minute of it.

My nutrition counseling now comes not only from a philosophical belief in what was right, but from the ingrained understanding of true experience. And as my experience continues, I continue to learn. And I continue to evolve.

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