Striking Balance

“We’ll be doing some work on balance today,” Mr. Yoga Teacher said, this morning. Words that always strike a level of anxiety in me. Balance is not my strong suite and I’m not that good with falling over. Something I do frequently with balance postures. I’ve learned to laugh at myself and to somewhat let go of the need to “get it right”, but I still find the emotional aspect of balancing almost as taxing as the physical. 

I have a perfectionist mindset (I can’t say I’m a perfectionist because rarely anything I do is perfect. Oh, the irony). I used to think that if I just was still enough, I’d be able to achieve balance. But the truth is, in stillness there is movement and this movement is critical to achieving balance. Think of riding a bike. If you try to perch on your seat and work adamantly to go in a perfectly straight line, you just won’t be able to do it. That’s not what riding a bike is all about. It’s all the constant adjustments you make as you pedal that keep your course more or less in a straight direction. The key is more or less. 

I’m wired to think in terms of black and white but am trying hard to learn all the shades of gray. Here is what I’m learning: Balance isn’t something you “achieve” and there is no such thing as perfect balance. Sometimes we exert ourselves too strenuously. Sometimes we sit on the couch too long. But if we look at our lives more holistically, we are more inclined to see the balance in our actions. Seeing it from this bird’s eye view also helps us to not get discouraged and give up when we veer off course. Instead of throwing in the towel when we eat too much one day, we are able to see that if we listen to our bodies and eat more sensibly the next, it will eventually even out. We don’t get so caught up in the straight line that we live in fear of stepping off it. Knowing that it is the collection of moments in our progression around that line that is the true meaning of balance. More importantly, by adjusting, wobbling and even falling, we are learning and growing. 

And that sometimes, toppling over and landing on your butt can be fun.