Such a Drag

There is something in the air. It’s called fatigue. Today I was dead tired. Moving seemed to take Herculean effort and my bed sang its siren song all day. I wondered what was wrong with me. I slept ok last night. I am (resignedly) on thyroid medication that should be working. I didn’t feel sick. I wasn’t sad. So what was wrong? It worried at me all day. I changed my mind half a dozen times about whether or not I should go to pole. I got tired even thinking about it, so how could I go? I even sat in the parking lot wondering if I should go in. I went in.

Guess what? Everyone was tired. Then it came back to me.  For the past week, I’ve heard my friends and neighbors tell me how tired they were. Some of them are sick. Some of them are cranky. Some of them just want a nap. Whether it’s the sky darkening earlier or the newly chilled air, people around me have been  dragging. It wasn’t just me. It was practically normal to feel this way. Suddenly, my mood lightened and I found a reserve of energy within me to get through class. I may not have been in superstar form and sat around a lot more than usual, but I was there and I didn’t break.

I realized driving home how much energy my worry took. Had I accepted the way I felt and not barraged myself with endless questions, I probably wouldn’t have been nearly so tired. It was also further proof that sometimes, it pays to show up for whatever is present with no expectations. More often than not, I’m pleasantly surprised.