Such a Drag

There is something in the air. It’s called fatigue. Today I was dead tired. Moving seemed to take Herculean effort and my bed sang its siren song all day. I wondered what was wrong with me. I slept ok last night. I am (resignedly) on thyroid medication that should be working. I didn’t feel sick. I wasn’t sad. So what was wrong? It worried at me all day. I changed my mind half a dozen times about whether or not I should go to pole. I got tired even thinking about it, so how could I go? I even sat in the parking lot wondering if I should go in. I went in.

Guess what? Everyone was tired. Then it came back to me.  For the past week, I’ve heard my friends and neighbors tell me how tired they were. Some of them are sick. Some of them are cranky. Some of them just want a nap. Whether it’s the sky darkening earlier or the newly chilled air, people around me have been  dragging. It wasn’t just me. It was practically normal to feel this way. Suddenly, my mood lightened and I found a reserve of energy within me to get through class. I may not have been in superstar form and sat around a lot more than usual, but I was there and I didn’t break.

I realized driving home how much energy my worry took. Had I accepted the way I felt and not barraged myself with endless questions, I probably wouldn’t have been nearly so tired. It was also further proof that sometimes, it pays to show up for whatever is present with no expectations. More often than not, I’m pleasantly surprised.

Thyroid on the Fence

Over the past few years, I’ve been having symptom associated with hypothyroidism. Fatigue and slow digestion among others. I had my thyroid tested, but my doctor said it looked normal. It wasn’t until I went to my gynecologist and then my acupuncturist that it was recommended that I do further tests. They revealed that while my levels aren’t exactly clinical, they are definitely borderline.

I’m going to the endocrinologist in a couple of weeks, but I’ve been thinking and feeling a lot about this, lately. Hypothyroidism is treatable with medication. There is no certainty that they will advise me to take medication but if they do, it is life long and not to be taken lightly. On the one hand the thought of taking something to help these often troubling symptoms seems like a dream. On the other hand, swallowing a pill every day isn’t exactly a happy notion to me.  Then there are the list side effects and the anecdotal commentary I’ve been reading (Google: friend or foe?), the length of both make we wonder exactly if this medication will help anything.

I could go the natural route. My acupuncturist is building my blood Qi and has me on Chinese herbs. She also suggested I supplement with iodine. Acupuncture has helped me dramatically with insomnia, so I’m a believer, but I do know that it can only do so much. Will it be enough to alleviate my symptoms enough for me to be ok without medication? I’m also not sure I buy into the excessive iodine supplementation as I’m pretty sure it is the cause of some aches and irritability I’ve experienced over the past week. It’s hard to know with such things, and that makes me a little nervous. 

I haven’t come to any conclusions on what I want to do about all of this and I’m sure the endo will do another set of blood tests and have their own opinion, but I’m going to continue to educate my mind with research and to pay attention to what my body is telling me. Right now both are in agreement. I’m exhausted.