Mind Games

I do cardio at the gym in the morning. It helps me wake up, but it’s not the most exciting thing in the world. I try to distract myself by watching TV, but time still passes slowly. Very slowly. A  few weeks ago, I decided to try something else. Wearing my personal training hat, I could call it “interval training.” Instead, I like to think of it as “game playing.”

This is nothing new. Work out at a regular level for five minutes then spike the intensity up for 30 seconds to a minute. These short bursts of concerted effort pump up your heart rate and have been shown to have a good effect on your physical being. But for me, it serves a more important function. It keeps me from getting bored. My mind is focused on counting down during my regular interval then pushing hard when it increases. It has little time to whine or complain or drift off. 

I took this to the pool, as well. Swim four laps, sprint for one. But I also added another element. The lap after my interval I focused on my kicking. After the next interval, my arm stroke. This not only helps occupy my mind, but also keeps me in my body. I notice the tightening of my legs as the work through the water, the sensation of my arm slicing through the surface. My body moving forcefully forward. 

Working out in this way has given me a new appreciation for the hard work my body on my behalf. I feel powerful and strong. And, to be honest, it’s just more fun.

Drishti

We often have themes our yoga classes. We are encouraged in the beginning of class to keep something in mind while we flow. It may be an intention, our breath or perhaps an idea. Like finding the strength in each posture. Maybe the grace. Or perhaps the sense of play. It serves as a focus, a mental drishti, bringing us back to awareness, back to the present moment. 

I found this practice helpful in other areas of my life. It helps me, she of the mental gymnastics, tame my mind and keep me in my body.

When I’m walking my dog, I’ll focus on breathing. Not my breath, but breathing the fresh air. I try to identify the various smells in my neighborhood. Have they just cut the grass, is it lunch time at the new deli, how does the earth smell after the rain? When I’m shopping, I’ll focus on my fingertips. How smooth is this apple, how cold is the refrigerator case, what does this box feel like? I often like to pay attention to my feet as I’m walking just to see how they are doing. Are they hot, tired, or happy? Or my stomach while I’m eating. How is it reacting to what I’m feeding it?

It might be something I’ve experienced a hundred times before, but I try to bring a new curiosity. In doing so, I find subtleties I’ve never noticed before. By being present, I often pick up on other nuances, I may never have noticed before. A flash of a smile from a stranger. A kid singing a nursery rhyme to his mom. A black squirrel running up a tree. 

I wish I could say I do this all the time. As it is, I may do it once or twice a day. When I’m anxious, I do it more often. It takes a more effort, but settles me like little else.

Yoga Unity

It was a gorgeous day yesterday, in the nation’s capital. I was lucky enough to be in front of the Lincoln Memorial, doing yoga in the sun. 

DC can be an intense place to be before an election. Yoga Votes sponsored a two hour program in the spirit of unifying us all as people, regardless of political affiliation. I’m not overly politically minded, but I can definitely get behind universal solidarity. 

There were five teachers from local studios that guided our practice, each with their own unique style. But they kept bringing us back to the same message of unity. Honoring our back body for what came before us. Our heart for what stood ahead of us. And our side body that joined us to one another in the lateral plane. To emphasize this, we joined hands. I took my friend’s hand in my left and looked to my right and found a five-year-old boy looking up at me. He smiled up at me, gave me his hand and as we raised our joined hands skyward, my heart broke open.

We Can

I heard this song in yoga, tonight. It spoke to me on several levels and I wanted to share. Namaste.

We Can by Jesse Ruben

A lot of people doubted me 
They laughed in my face 
Said there ain't no way 
I would finish that race 
But I kept my head down 
And laced up my shoes 

I ran a marathon, 
When no on thought I could 
I didn't always want to 
But I said that I would 
Then I learned alot about what I can do 

It doesn't matter if they don't believe 
It doesn't matter if they do not understand 
Cause every dream that Im trying to achieve 
I can, I can, I can 
I can, I can, I can 

So make a list and do not make it brief 
Write down every single wish 
and every little thing that you want 
Don't sell yourself short 
Don't ever hesitate if people turn you down 
Do not settle, do not wait, don't ever turn around 
Cause you're almost there, I swear 
I swear it's yours 

And all that matters is that there's no regrets 
It doesn't matter if they do not understand 
Cause everything you want you haven't gotten yet 
You can, you can, you can 
You can, you can, you can 

Right now on this planet there are things that we can fix 
There are people going hungry, alot of them are kids 
And it's so unfair 
They're scared and all alone 
Wars are being fought over land and over God 
And we need a different plan, 
Cause I think that we've forgot 
That we're all the same 
We're just love and blood and bones 

It doesn't matter if they think we're wrong 
It doesn't matter if they do not understand 
Cause every obstacle we need to overcome. 
We can, we can, we can 
We can, we can, we can 
We can, we can, we can 
We can, we can, we can 
We can, we can, we can. 

Such a Drag

There is something in the air. It’s called fatigue. Today I was dead tired. Moving seemed to take Herculean effort and my bed sang its siren song all day. I wondered what was wrong with me. I slept ok last night. I am (resignedly) on thyroid medication that should be working. I didn’t feel sick. I wasn’t sad. So what was wrong? It worried at me all day. I changed my mind half a dozen times about whether or not I should go to pole. I got tired even thinking about it, so how could I go? I even sat in the parking lot wondering if I should go in. I went in.

Guess what? Everyone was tired. Then it came back to me.  For the past week, I’ve heard my friends and neighbors tell me how tired they were. Some of them are sick. Some of them are cranky. Some of them just want a nap. Whether it’s the sky darkening earlier or the newly chilled air, people around me have been  dragging. It wasn’t just me. It was practically normal to feel this way. Suddenly, my mood lightened and I found a reserve of energy within me to get through class. I may not have been in superstar form and sat around a lot more than usual, but I was there and I didn’t break.

I realized driving home how much energy my worry took. Had I accepted the way I felt and not barraged myself with endless questions, I probably wouldn’t have been nearly so tired. It was also further proof that sometimes, it pays to show up for whatever is present with no expectations. More often than not, I’m pleasantly surprised.

Inner Brat

I didn’t sleep Friday night which makes getting up for yoga on Saturday quite…interesting. Sometimes, I’m so tired that my brain shuts off and I have a great practice. Other times, it’s a challenge. This Saturday, it was the latter. 

I mentioned that I have a vicious inner critic I call my Wicked Stepmother. I also have a bratty child and she was in full force in yoga. Plank push-ups? “NO way!” she stamped her foot. Balance postures?“Nuh uh” she shook her head violently. The whole class went on like this. She with her arms crossed and a great big scowl on her face. Nothing could cheer her up. I lay in Savasana exhausted from the effort and from dealing with her for the past hour and a half. Was it worth even getting up? I wondered.  It wasn’t until I was home, taking a hot blissful shower that the response came. “Yes. At least you showed up.”

I may have had a hard practice, but I felt gratitude. Gratitude to myself for honoring my commitment and taking care of myself. So what if I fell over in Warrior III and exchanged my usual Wheel for Bridge? I went. I shared space with lovely people. I learned a little more about myself and my process. And now I could tuck my cranky inner child into bed for a well-deserved nap.

Pole Progression

It felt good to get back on the pole, tonight. We didn’t have class last week and I didn’t realize how much I missed it. Tonight, our class was full and there was an interesting mix. Ladies who were new to Intermediate, some who were seasoned and one who definitely should be in Advanced. I love classes like this. I feel we all learn from and get inspired by each other as much as the instructor.

Tonight we were working through some rather frustrating progressions -- Caterpillar and Shoulder Mounts. We were discussing ab strength when one of the girls laughed and said, “Yeah, something I don’t have.” I pointed out that she couldn’t have gotten this far if she didn’t have a great deal of abdominal strength. Maybe not enough for what we were doing, but she obviously had a lot if she was pulling up into inversions.

This was easy for me to point out to her because it’s something I think a lot about. There are times when I get discouraged because I can’t do this pose in yoga or that trick in pole. But if I look back on my progression over even the past six months, I can see so much growth. I’ve been fairly consistent and I keep trying. Some things come easily, some things not so much. But I’m working on it. This is what is true. And this is what I remind myself when I feel like nothing is working.

We are on a journey and as far as we go, as good as we get, there will always be the next thing. This is what keeps life interesting.