Home Again

I’m back in DC again tonight. It always feels good to come home, but I do miss Chicago.

 There is something quite charming about the city. It has a great vibe – great food, fun culture, gorgeous location – all mixed with a charming Midwest tang. Our seminar was at held in downtown Chicago and I was one of the few from out of town. And as such, one of the few without that famous Chicago accent which never fails to draw a smile from me. Maybe it’s the demeanor that comes along with the accent. Maybe I’ve watched too many old SNL skits. Either way, I’m predisposed to liking people from around the Great Lakes. The times I’ve visited in the spring and summer have almost (almost) convinced me that the bitter winters couldn’t possibly be a reality. 

I used to travel to and only to Kansas for work and grew resentful towards the whole idea of work travel. But with this company and particularly this year, I’ve been traveling quite a bit and to different cities. I hope this continues. It helps perpetuate my tapas-type approach to life. A nibble here, a nibble there, varying tastes and textures and experiences without gorging myself on any one dish. I can fall in love a hundred times only and retain fond memories of each, hoping to taste of them once again….

Yikes. No wonder I’m not married. ;o)

Chi-Town

I’m in another hotel room tonight. This time, in Chicago. The Windy City isn’t windy at all. The weather here is just as gorgeous as in DC. I sat in the back of a cab coming into the city and enjoyed the sparkling blue waters of the lake. It always amazes me that it is, indeed, a closed body of water. My childhood never prepared me for lakes so large you couldn’t see the other side. It wasn’t until my first trip to Chicago, many years ago, that I learned otherwise. 

People were everywhere. Jogging, biking, sunning. Simply celebrating the warmth and sunshine. Chicago isn’t a pleasant city in the winter and I could understand why its denizens would pop out of their hibernation with such gusto when given the chance, even on a Monday evening. I wished I had gotten here earlier in the day to enjoy it with them. I can’t think of anything nicer to have done today than to sit by the water, sun on my shoulders, watching the world go by. 

As it was, I checked in and went for a walk. By this time the sun had set, but people were still out and about. I honestly didn’t have any place to go. I just wanted to soak in the energy and the city. It was rewarding on both counts. Chicago in the spring is a beautiful thing.

In Conference

Flying home from the land of Mickey. It has been an interesting few days.

I’m not a big fan of trade shows. The floor is always too cold for my liking and you spend all day on your feet, smiling at everybody and talking about whatever product is you happened to be pushing. Every booth around you is doing the same, talking to the same audience. Go to enough of these things and you’ll see the same types of people. Actually, you’ll probably see the same people, as well. It’s a smallish community. Overstimulation is putting it kindly. 

I moved around a lot as a kid and learned to make friends quickly. The upshot is I can talk to almost anyone about almost anything. I usually can make them laugh and feel comfortable. For the past ten years, it has part of my job to varying degrees and I generally enjoy it. But it does take energy out of me. Surrendering to surface-level banter is fun, but it doesn’t fulfill me. I go back to my hotel room at night with people’s faces and snippets of conversation buzzing through my head, but feeling like I never got to know a single person. I wonder what they’re really like behind the name badge. What motivates and moves them. How they view and experience life. Sometimes when they smile I see a glimpse of the child they were for just a second and that intrigues me more than what new software they are interested in seeing. Unfortunately, the time nor the environment is suited for such conversations. Like butterflies, they flit away.

I know I will forget these people, as they will me. A little sad. A missed opportunity. So, I’ve decided that next time I will do more. I will not hide behind the sheet of glass that is my smile. I will not simply wonder at who they are. I may not say anything different than times before, but I will stay present with them. I will recognize who they are and what they have to share with me during our brief encounter. I will see them as human, alive and wonderful. Namaste.

Fantasia

I’m sitting in a hotel in Orlando. I arrived this evening and I have yet to see Mickey Mouse. Actually, the likelihood of my actually encountering him is pretty slim, despite being a cow pasture away from Disney HQ. Even so, being here takes me back to princesses and castles. Chivalry and swords. Talking animals, fairy godmothers and true love born by glass slippers. Back to before I wondered what happened the day after The End. 

But never the wasp-ish waisted singing princess was I. I was a tomboy and wanted to ride the horse, don the armor, wield the sword and defy the witch.  Much more fun and exciting than cleaning some remote house in the woods. And much easier to find my prince. Though I do now wonder if maybe we’ve just been running in circles trying to find each other amongst the trees. Hm.

In any case, though I’m in my hotel room, trying to work, I do feel a little caught up in a fairy tale. There’s a boat in my hotel and supposed alligators in the moat. I got lost today trying to find my room because I wasn’t sure what side of the fort it was on. So, I’m allowing myself to get caught up in it as much as I can while on a work trip. Who knows what I’ll dream of tonight.

Dress It

I work from home a lot as my local office is about 30 minutes away through horrendous traffic and no one on my team is actually in the DC area. This is both a good and a bad thing. Good: I can roll out of bed later and wear yoga pants all day while sitting on my couch. I also can, potentially, get a lot more done without the distraction of the office goings on. Bad: I can roll out of bed later and wear yoga pants all day while sitting on my couch. I also can, potentially, go the entire day without talking to a single human person (canine person is another matter). 

The good outweighs the bad here, but sometimes, if I don’t have evening plans, I feel like an amorphous blob. And I know I look like one. I’m sure the front desk people in my apartment building whisper and worry about my bringing down property values as I circle the building with my dog, in a fog. Shortly after I moved in, one even asked if I was “always this quiet”. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m FAR from quiet. It made me smile. And worry slightly. 

Who am I when not in the company of others? Decidedly shlubby. It’s no wonder that midway through the week I often find myself feeling like a feline-less Cat Lady, a little lonely and a little disconnected, despite the fact that I have great friends and family I can easily reach out to. “Why doesn’t anyone love me?” I wonder, piteously. “Why doesn’t anyone call me?” I ponder, staring at the phone, incapable of dialing out. “Well,” I sigh, looking down at the soft pants I’ve had on all week and my comfy sweatshirt from my trip to Texas in 2000, “Who would want to?” And no one calls or emails or texts. Rather, they may, but I don’t feel it.

Yes, I can be overly melodramatic.                                                                                           

           

So that’s a little how I felt yesterday, coming off of a great trip out west and a fun weekend. Today was different. I went in to the office for the first time in 2 months for a company-wide webinar. I know it sounds odd, but I actually found it…fun. It’s not like I don’t dress up when I go out to play with my friends, I do. But somehow, this was a different show altogether. And it was during the day time. For once I was dressing up to go to the office in my own town. I had full range of my closet rather than what I had packed in a suitcase. Accessories were abundant and I could actually wear my favorite scent and ridiculous boots. I was also happy that maybe someone might even get to appreciate my newly manicured nails before they started to chip. This was big!

So, I went in did my thing, came home and changed back into comfortable clothes. No big deal. But I felt different. I kept my earrings on and could smell my perfume. My hair, even pulled back, looked less like a rats nest. I walked my dog with a little more confidence, rather than trying to hide in the bushes. I didn’t personally encounter that many more people during my day, but I made the few that I did meet count. And here’s the funny thing. People I’ve been waiting to hear from or had forgotten about picked today to get back in touch with me. Asked how I’ve been and if I’d like to get together. My friends said they missed me or commented how much fun it was to hang out this past weekend. Even my dog seemed to have a greater appreciation of me. Just like that. Go figure.