The Water

The water was cold. Probably not as icy cold as it felt, but this early in the morning, it was cold enough to make me want to go home and curl back in bed. My mind wandered back to just a few hours ago and lazily stretching in the new sun. I shuddered. Why was I here? My eyes flicked to the door. I could just get up and walk out. Right now. I could invent some sort of excuse. Foot cramps were a plausible excuse. Or maybe I realized that I needed to send something in to my boss. Better be going. So sorry. See you next week. I sighed. None of these tactics would do. I had made a promise to myself. I had to get in.

I dangled a leg in and then another. I spent some time looking at my legs in the water. Not a bad sight. But…were they turning blue? I shook my head. Sometimes, I made myself laugh. I really was a child. I gently lowered myself in the water and thought of my childhood. I hated the cold then, too. But I approached it with a “let’s get it over with” attitude and jumped into the deep end. I scoffed at the “old” ladies who walked around in the shallow end for an age before swimming with their head out of the water until they could bear to dunk it. Why prolonging the misery? Now I knew. The mind is a funny thing, that’s why. With adulthood comes trepidation and I had trepidation written all over me. Another sigh. This wasn’t getting any better. I decided on a compromise and hopped around a bit before fastening my goggles, adjusting my swim cap and looking and determinately at the other end. That was my goal. I had to go. Big breath of air and I pushed off.

I won’t lie. That first lap caused my skin to prickle and my breath to catch in my throat. I churned on as fast as I could to warm up, but it seemed to take forever. I did the flip and was halfway back before I began feeling more acclimated to my new liquid environs. And strangely, though I’m not sure why it was strange since it happened each time, a feeling of elation came over me. I was in my element. Arms cutting through the water, legs strongly bringing up the rear and the utter weightlessness of it all. It felt like freedom. It tasted like…well, like chlorine.

I once again felt like a kid as I imagined myself as a dolphin or a mermaid, at one with the water. This always made laps less tedious. And this day, they went by quickly. I had completed a half mile and still had time on the clock. Time to play, I thought, grinning. I hurried for the deep end and did a few flips, a few ballet legs, a walk over or two. I didn’t have a point or direction, I just moved. Delighting in my body and all it could do when not encumbered by having to stand on my two legs. My hands and feet were long. Here, they were valuable tools of my trade. I swirled and twirled and danced. One might have even called it graceful. Graceful! Me, who stumbles for no reason while walking, who can only stand on one leg if all the elements align and then, only for a minute. I was meant to be here.